


everybody wants to love you

by satiricaldepression



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Car Sex, Character Study, Choi Soobin Centric, Established Relationship, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, References to Depression, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26190874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satiricaldepression/pseuds/satiricaldepression
Summary: Soobin loves the feeling of Yeonjun’s teeth breaking his skin as he sucks a mark onto the younger’s neck. He sighs contentedly at the sensation, the red and purple marks easily blooming on his collar.Everything is so easy with Yeonjun, and Soobin feels so undeserving.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 134





	everybody wants to love you

**Author's Note:**

> title from japanese breakfast’s [everybody wants to love you](https://youtu.be/KNT7wuqaykc)  
> 

Sometimes Soobin feels like he is suffocating. When his assignments pile up too high at the same time he gets scheduled an extra shift on top of his already thirty hours. When his parents call him and ask him to come back home— a near forty minute train ride— to watch his little brother for the night because they’re both working and can’t afford a babysitter. When he finally thinks he has a moment to himself but can barely even think to lie down because Beomgyu is calling him in tears because he failed a midterm and absolutely _needs_ Soobin to help him.

Sometimes Soobin wants everything to just stop. Because he feels like he is _suffocating_ and it’s too much _._ Nothing ever seems to be going the way he wants it to, and it’s so difficult _,_ he just _can’t_ do it anymore.

He hates himself for feeling that way. What grievances does he bear that make his life so _insufferable?_ He shouldn’t be complaining, not when so many other people have it worse, right? Everyone has school, and work, and bills, and a family to take care of. So why is Soobin so stressed? It’s nothing he shouldn’t be able to handle. He feels entitled, really, he should learn to be less of a whiny bitch.

His existence is underwhelming, honestly. What importance could he possibly pertain? Soobin should stop putting himself on a pedestal. Why should completing basic responsibilities be anything to be proud of? He should stop acting so venerable. His expendability is truly innate.

He falls asleep on his parent’s yellow-white sofa slumped over his laptop at 2AM, after finally finishing the five page essay due for his behavioral science course and having made sure his brother was safely in bed by 9PM. He wakes up four hours later at 6AM so he has enough time for the commute back to his dorm and then his 8AM lecture.

Sometimes Soobin feels okay. When it’s 10PM and he’s about to finish up his shift and head to the bus stop so he can finally sleep, but then Yeonjun texts him. When Yeonjun tells him to _stay there for a minute_ ! because he’ll pick him up in his _car_ and Soobin doesn’t have to depend on an unreliable public transportation schedule to get home. When Yeonjun arrives not five minutes later with a soft smile and warm embrace ready to cuddle away any and all of Soobin’s difficulties.

_(“Did you eat yet, baby? Do you want to get some food?” Yeonjun runs a hand through Soobin’s hair._

_Soobin shakes his head and hums. “Not hungry.”_

_“You tired?” Yeonjun steps closer. “I’ll take you home.”_

_Soobin thinks for a moment. It’s late, but it’s been awhile since he’s had time with his boyfriend. He doesn’t want to go back to his dorm yet. He bites his lip. “Not tired...”_

_“That’s okay,” Yeonjun hums, hand stopping to cup Soobin’s cheek. “We can go somewhere, yeah?”)_

So now, as Soobin and Yeonjun sit on the hood of his beat up Honda Civic in the cold October air after driving up a small mountain top to watch the stars, he feels okay. It’s dark, the middle of the night during autumn, but the moon above them seems to light their surroundings just enough for Soobin to make out the soft lines of Yeonjun’s electric blue hair falling onto his face.

Yeonjun kisses him slowly, but hard, like he always does, with both hands wrapped around Soobin to pull them closer to each other. It’s easy for Soobin to relax and fall into the familiar feeling of his lips, and it’s easy for him to let Yeonjun pull him off the car and into the backseat. He lets Yeonjun crawl on top of him, leaning in to catch his mouth once before trailing kisses from his jaw to neck. Soobin loves the feeling of Yeonjun’s teeth breaking his skin as he sucks a mark onto the younger’s neck, the subtle way the pain scratches at him underneath the shuddering pleasure. He sighs contentedly at the sensation, the red and purple marks easily blooming on his collar.

Everything is so _easy_ with Yeonjun. The way he undresses them halfway until Soobin’s jeans are shoved onto his calves and just enough clothing is gone for them to able to _do something._ The way he takes Soobin’s ear between his teeth and tugs gently before whispering sweet nothings in his ear as Soobin’s writhes and whines under him. The way he fucks Soobin hard and rough into the sweaty leather seats, Soobin’s eyes rolling to the back of his head with every slam of Yeonjun’s thighs against his ass.

_“You’re doing so well for me, baby.”_

Soobin comes with tears in his eyes and a silent cry on his lips before Yeonjun follows suit and falls on top of him, hot and sticky.

 _“Good boy.”_ He whispers, and Soobin keens at the words.

And after Yeonjun cleans them both up— wiping a cum covered hand on some old napkins before throwing them to the car floor, after he helps the younger back into his clothes and then his seat, after he drives them back to Soobin’s dorm, he doesn’t leave.

Yeonjun never leaves, and Soobin feels so _undeserving._ He wonders what he did in his past life to now have someone like Yeonjun, someone who always knows when Soobin is feeling like shit and decides to take him on a star-gazing date to take his mind off things. Someone who calls him everyday to make sure he’s eaten. Someone who always tells him “ _You’re_ _doing good, yeah? I’m so proud of you.”_ Someone who holds his hand and gives little kisses every seconds because _“It’s what my Soobinie deserves~”_

Someone who makes him feel important.

It’s late when they get back, and Soobin blindly falls into bed, exhaustion from the day finally kicking in and taking over. It’s the heavy weight of Yeonjun's arm wrapping around him that prevents him from falling asleep immediately after hitting the sheets.

Just having Yeonjun around him makes Soobin feel like he can breathe again, like he’s not suffocating and the world isn’t going to collapse if he takes a moment to just _exist_.

“You’re okay, yeah?” Yeonjun speaks quietly in the darkness of the room, hugging him tightly.

“ _Yeah_.” Soobin breathes out. “I’m okay.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> soobin-ah, ur doing great, yeah?
> 
> cannot say the same for myself
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/vorekangs?s=21)  
> 


End file.
